En Espana, habla Espanol!

We're walking to get an unlimited Metro pass for the month of Abril, and this very small and very old (old and small tend to go together in Madrid) says something to us.  She's having trouble walking and seems to need our help.

We're not exactly sure what she wants because she says a phrase quickly then sticks here tongue out between her teeth.  Not like a kid stickin a tongue out at you, but her teeth are bared and she bites down a little on it.  I swear that her teeth were actually a little pushed apart where she puts her tongue.  Thank god I didn't know enough Spanish to ask her if she had something wrong with her tongue (I thought that's why she was showing it to us).  Turns out it was just her thing.

After some frustrated confusion we discover she just wants to hold onto someone's arm to help her walk to....we didn't know.  Jeremia lets her grab his arm.  So the pace is about 1 inch./1 sec. and we have no idea when it will end.  She keeps saying things and "Jota" keeps trying to talk to her.

Over and over she angrily says "En Espana, habla Espanol!"  We try to explain that we just started class and are learning spanish.  We've explained it to others and they appreciated the effort, hah.

Ok, but, Jota starts to laugh at the whole situation, and man, she gets pissed.  "Por que *hahaha*"  She repeats her little credo again and throws Jeremia's arm away from and just rests against the wall instead.  We're in the shop just down the street for 10 minutes.  I walk out and she's still there, BUT some men hold each of her arms, walk her the very short distance to her apartment gate (right before our shop) drop her off, and giggle at each other a bit and hurry to their destinations.

Man, she was cranky.  Hella cranky.  Hell of cranky.  Muy cranky.  Bite your tongue between your front teeth after every sentence cranky.

Maybe I would be too if, after receiving assistance, I still moved that slow.  Or, since I live in the US, I might ride a Rascal.  I don't see any Rascals here.  I don't even know how I feel about those.  They're dorky as hell, but then again, old people don't care, but man, If I was old and rode that in Spain I'd get beat up fast I'm pretty sure.  I'd beat myself up.  These old people walk forever here.  I know one lady in Davis who walks her HUGE bull dog from her front door to the sidewalk, and they just stand in place for 15 minutes...

What would this lady do if she had a Rascal?  What if she was still as cranky?  Would she ride around hitting young whipper snappers (cheeky chicos?) with her, at such a point, unneccessary cane?  How do you fight back to that?  Hmm, if in Spanish, I don't know, but in English, if some old person was doing that and really pissing me off, I'd have some fightin' words.  And if they turned around, I think I could out maneuver that Rascal's wheels. 

Of course, the taunting would only be fun until they fell out of the chair--or worse.  Man, I'd be the worst person in the world if it got to that point.

Luckily, I think this situation is impossible.  Just like I'm lucky that gargantuan insects are impossible, because they're what I find the most frightening.

Man, I'm pretty lucky.  

I'm almost sure I would've got a cane smack if I had known enough Spanish to ask if her tongue was OK.

(I really thought she was trying to show us something wrong with it)

I love how weird old people can get.